(This is dedicated to you, you, and you.)
I was never the 'certified' clubber. Neither am I the party animal. In fact, I will probably never stand out in a crowd, be the drop dead gorgeous head turner, nor THAT girl you met at the club.
In fact, I am the most ordinary girl you see there, and probably not in the best (skimpiest or sexiest, whichever way you define it) party dress anyway. But yes, when I’m there, I’m there dancing. Dancing, singing, drinking (something which I’ve been holding the whole night) and just plain having a good time.
I’m no Georgina Wilson, but my blurry eyes are quite sure I’m no wicked witch of the netherworld either. I would normally wish a Derek Ramsey-ish guy would dance with me and get my number, but that may just be too good to be true. I’d settle for an Enchong Dee, or a Jericho Rosales, really. And I guess among the guys I’ve “met” in these bars/ clubs, none of them have a faint resemblance. Haha. (Sorry po.)
So, if you’re not these guys, or have only 10% resemblance, chances are, girls didn’t turn their heads on you either. J (Remember, 10% accounts ONLY for the fact that Derek Ramsey, and you, are both human.) Yes, whether or not they look like Anne Curtis or Sam Pinto.
Don’t keep your hopes up. Have fun anyway. Meet people. Have fun. Party! Party hard but keep responsibly sane, so you have something fun to talk about the day after.
So from a girl- friend’s point-of-view, in simple numbered form, here’s what I have to say. J
1. We may have glanced at you, once or twice, but that doesn’t mean we like you already. Take it easy. We’re here to have relax, let loose and have fun.
2. If you do catch us glancing at you more than thrice, of course we are checking you out. BUT we know you’re checking us out too, if you catch us looking that much already.
3. If we check you out, pretty please swing by, and let’s talk awhile? We don’t want to be overly aggressive at this point, really.
4. If we stare at you, don’t IMMEDIATELY think you’re hot. Chances are you’re not. You’re probably weirding out. Get a grip of yourself, check if you have something on your face. (If that, at all on your head is a face.)
5. Some of us may dress a little to skimpily, but that doesn’t give you the permission to throw yourselves at us. We just wanted to feel and look great about ourselves, with or without you.
6. We don’t really like talking to drunk guys. So keep it a “responsibly-tipsy” level.
7. Stop staring at our front-sides and rear ends. We have eyes. On our faces.
8. Please, make it a conscious effort to smell good. And look good. Please stop wearing your granpa’s shirt. And your granpa’s perfume. Do so, and we’ll set you up with one of our lolas.
9. Small talk is great! Please layoff talking about the Dewey Decimal System though. One short word to describe why we’re here: (to have )FUN.
10. We, are not looking for a serious relationship in a club. Get real. We are smart enough to know you aren’t either. This isn’t just the place.
11. We know we aren’t the only ones you checked out. It’s OK. Really.
12. If you ask for our number and we don’t want to give it, don’t be annoying, just drop it. Means we’re not interested. If we do give you our number, and we don’t answer, please stop calling and texting within two days tops. GET A CLUE.
13. If we walk away when you dance, we’re not interested. In you, in dancing with you, or just plain getting seen near you. Period. Ok the last one’s too mean but go somewhere else but near us.
14. If we do get a little bit too comfy with you, don’t take advantage of the situation. We may have sipped a little too much a-a-a-a-alcohol. A girl will still love guys with respect, after all.
AND FOR MY GIRLS…
(mga ganda, hindi ako mahilig gaano sa ganito, pero once in a while, go na. nakakaburyong din magbasa nang magbasa, diba? Personal growth. Widening of horizons, ika nga.)
1. Guys will be guys. They will have their p__________ thoughts, so be a step ahead.
2. Sexy is not synonymous to skimpy, or almost naked.
3. Don’t settle for a troll when you know a Brad Pitt is checking you out. OK, so that’s exag. Piolo Pascual na lang, para realistic. LOL
4. You look gorgeous. Go ahead and dance. …as Katy said, “You just gotta igniiite the liiight and leeet it shiiine…just own the night like the fourth of July…”
5. All guys are bolero. They just come in levels—like grade one bolero, grade two, three, and so on. And us girls, kahit may masteral na, still love ‘em. The “bola,” I mean. Some though, get too irritating. See? I know, you know better.
6. Clubs may be calorie-laden. a) Drinks may be sugar or carb-packed and b) these places may be full of eye candy! (Emphasis on EYE). Anything too much, is bad for the health.
7. You can have fun without getting stoned. Or drugged. Look after yourself too – you’re smarter than they think.
8. A lot of guys were born presko and you know that. It takes a great girl to level his air down.
9. Whoever said, “dance like nobody’s watching,” is right. Nobody said, “strip like nobody’s watching,” right?
10. If you and your boyfriend get things unbelievably heated up, prove to be the smart girl. Save it. Or go get a room at least. It’s a club, a public party! Unless you both have dreams of becoming porn stars. (Ok, count me out!)
11. What’s FUN without “U”? If you drink too much, you lose yourself. Trust me, guys don’t like the smell of puke either. Having fun, is not synonymous to getting drunk.
12. Listen to Beyonce and Lady Gaga. “Hello, hello, baby you called, I can’t hear a thing… not that I don’t like you, I’m just tryin to party...” Stop tweeting everything you do, every song that plays, every move you make, every guy who approaches you. Let go, have fun.
13. If you can’t dance in heels, dance in pretty flats. The party’s all about having fun. Unless you call blistering feet and possible ankle sprains, enjoyable.
14. You don’t have to give your number out if you don’t want to. You don’t have to respond to a call/ text if you ever do. Your choice, babe. J
15. Relax, enjoy the night. Trust me, that guy, isn’t serious. If he is, you’ll find out eventually. But, “you don’t get down, not on the first night!”
(OK, I still wish I can go to an LMFAO gig. Or something.)
So come on, let’s party! J
(...WHY, WHY DID I EVER WRITE THIS ON A MONDAY?)
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